This is man from another planet – yes, really! And I just dropped by to share my observations with you all – and there is one question that I’m dying to ask: What’s with all the violence down there? What’s it all about? There are millions of planets out there with intelligent life; but none of them have taken killing to the industrial level that you guys have – you’ve got yourselves a reputation.
You’ve got your scientists sending out radio signals trying to make contact with other civilisations – man, don’t bother – the rest of the universe avoids you lot like the fucking plague.
And just what is it with everybody and this crazy God guy? I mean to say; he is a bit of a new-kid on the block isn’t he? You’ve got your Native Americans tribes of 15,000 years ago, with their sun spirit: Tawa, and their Spider Grandmother. We have the Osages tribe who revered Elk for creating the plants and trees. The Ancient Egyptians had their friendly sounding gods – such as Ra, the sun god, and his boys: Shu and Geb, and the girls; Tefnuk and Nut. However, Ra became a bit of a shit and turned spiteful: man had displeased him and Ra decided he must destroy him (sounds familiar). Things didn’t go entirely to plan and Geb and Nut (who were the earth and sky) got married and lived happily ever after. So, as you see; there were gods all over the show: in India, you could hardly cross the street without tripping over one; they had thousands of them.
And then, a bunch of nomadic shepherds from the early bronze age, only a few thousand years ago, go and discover another one: Mr. Nasty. He told them that he made the Earth in six days ( try telling that to the Native Americans) and put his feet up on the seventh. God created the plants and trees on the third day, and all of the stars on the fourth. He made man out of dust on the sixth day, but women would have to wait a little longer. The man called Adam had to fall asleep first: then God whipped out one of his ribs and created woman with it. When Adam awoke he had a nice surprise waiting for him. The woman Eve, had something juicy to tempt him with – and it sure wasn’t an apple.
So, how do we know all this? Who is telling this story, and where did the storyteller get his stuff from? Did he see it all happen? Did he interview some witnesses who were around at the time of the great event?
Well, the bible will have us believe that it was a guy called Moses, and his God told him of the Genesis story; all alone up on a mountain – no witnesses. For forty days and nights God whispered in his ear: the result was the Ten Commandments – and over six hundred laws; unsurprisingly called – The Laws of Moses.
Many others would follow in his footsteps and claim that God had whispered in their ears also, but only Moses ever claimed to have actually seen God: only his back mind you – not his face! In the Genesis tale, Moses informs us that God had told him of a time when he drowned practically all of humanity: they had sinned. He tells us of a time when God killed almost all of the inhabitants of the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah in a hailstorm of fire and brimstone: they too had sinned. God helped Moses and his tribe, by personally killing all the first-born children of the Egyptians: all because their pharaoh was evil.
So, where may I ask – do the faithful get the idea that they worship a god of love and forgiveness? Amongst the so-called sinners that he had drowned and massacred, there would have been innocent children and babies; there would have been pregnant mothers with innocent unborn life still in the womb; not forgetting of course the innocent Egyptian children. What about all the animals he drowned, and the ones he had blown up – surely they hadn’t sinned; surely there must have been cute little kittens and fluffy bunny rabbits amongst them – don’t tell me they had sinned.
We need to find out more about this guy, we need to get him on a chat show.