Biblical men

You’ve got to hand it to those biblical men; they sure knew how to treat their women. Take Jacob for example:
His father Isaac told him the best women were to be found down in Padan-aram. And Jacob went there and took a shine to Rachel, the daughter of Laban, who was his mother’s brother; in other words his own cousin. Now Jacob had to labour seven years for uncle Laban to earn Rachel’s hand.
And when the time was up he said unto Laban: bring me my wife, for my days are fulfilled, so that I may go in unto her! Wow, imagine telling your prospective father-in -law that today – bring me your daughter – I want to mount her!
And Laban brought all the men for the feast. And it came to pass that in the evening he tricked Jacob and brought Leah, the eldest daughter. And it came to pass that in the morning ; behold Jacob saw that he had spent the night with the wrong sister. Well, easy mistake to make, we’ve all been there – especially after a few shots. When he confronted Laban he was told it wasn’t the custom to give the younger before the first-born. What a bastard. Never mind, don’t take it personally Laban told Jacob, just serve another seven years and you can have them both: and he did.
Now Jacob loved Rachel more than his other wife; problem was no matter how much he tried he couldn’t get her pregnant. So he went in unto Leah instead and she bore him a son, then another, then another, then another, until she too was barren.
Rachel was heartbroken and said unto Jacob, give me children or else I die. Jacob was furious with her and told it was all her fault that both his wives were barren. Then Rachel found a solution that Jacob liked very much. Behold my maid, Bilhah, why don’t you go in unto her for children. And he didn’t need to be asked twice, nor did he need Bilhah’s permission. And she bare him a son, then another. And then from Leah, he took her maid, Zilpah, and yes, she bare him a son, and then another.
And then we are told that the Lord hearkened unto Leah and opened her womb. And she conceived and bare him a son, and then another, and then a daughter. And the Lord remembered Rachel and opened her womb, and Jacob went in unto her, and she conceived a son; Joseph (he of coat of many colours fame and interpreter of dreams).
I
sn’t it obvious that the wives of these biblical men weren’t barren, women don’t just conceive by command. If they had shown more patience their wives would have conceived eventually. Seems to me they knew a good thing when they saw it: they awarded themselves a license to fornicate. These were the days when men were men, and hand-maidens were nervous.
They didn’t have far to look for man’s justification for their domination over women. Because it’s there for all to follow at the very beginning of the bible. Adam was specifically ordered by his God not to eat from the tree of knowledge, before Eve had even been brought to life. But when he did, the blame was very quickly passed onto Eve. She had been tempted by a walking talking snake no less. The snake was condemned to slither on it’s belly for evermore. God told Eve: I will multiply thy sorrow and conception, and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. Adam got away with a slap on the wrist. Eve found out early in the great scam: it’s a man’s world.

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